Jikken no SanJuuIchisai Oboko
by renegadedrow2
Summary: Dir en grey fic: Die has always had feelings for Shinya, but when his longing becomes too much to bear he turns to Kyo for help, but soon finds out that his bandmates may not have been in the best choice when it comes to relationships


At this point, Die didn't know what to do. Night after night he saw the beautiful man in his dreams, all his and no one else's. Day after day he fawned over the masculine beauty that walked back and forth in his view like a treacherous incubus trying to get his attention and teasing him at the same time. All he could think about was his smile, his hair, and those striking eyes that held so much yet concealed his true desires. And his mind, his brilliant mind, ever an enigma to Die; it was to the point where Die spent days upon days trying to figure it out.

Terachi Shinya, the marvelous drummer with strength beyond that of him and the beauty that no woman could ever hope to have. There he was, just sitting there, tapping his feet and patting the table top in a consistent rhythm. Die watched the muscle in his arms flex and relax as he did so, once again running his eyes over the perfectly shaped biceps. His tormenter just sitting there, tapping away and some how stealing away Die's attention again as though it were the easiest thing in the world.

If he could have his way, Die would have grabbed the beautiful man and lavished him with gifts and love that no other could bestow upon him. The only thing that was stopping Die from throwing his arms around him, the single, trivial problem that he faced was so complex in its mere simplicity. Was Shinya gay?

As had the mere thought and image of the magnificent drummer had distracted his thoughts, so did the ambiguousness of his sexuality. Die could not simply assume that Shinya was homosexual due to the mere fact of their old Visual Kei style. They had all worn their fair share of eccentric clothing and the only one of them who had actually proved to be gay was Die himself. Of course none of them knew, none of them except Kyo.

What an unfortunate mistake on Die's behalf the day he had gone out drinking with Kyo. Never before had he had a problem hiding a secret and being intoxicated at the same time, but that day Shinya's beauty and grace seemed to have exceeded his normal expectations. Before he knew it he had let slip a secret he had guarded with his life, yet Kyo had been kind and understanding to his surprise, but since then had not mentioned anything about it.

Now here he was, unable to concentrate on memorizing the notes to a new song because of Shinya. Of course he could move, but if he dare move then his glorious incubus would be out of sight and his lack of concentration would worsen. He knew he needed to get it done, but how could he concentrate or move away?

If he could solve the simple puzzle of Shinya's lifestyle he would be at ease for at least a month, for during that time he would have to work up the courage to ask him out on a date. He was not as forthright as most people thought him to be. Yet he could not simply walk up to the occupied Shinya and ask him of his sexuality. Not only would that be rude but it could cause a riff in their friendship and arouse suspicion inquiring into his own sexuality.

Perhaps one of the others would know what to do? Not Toshiya, he was often too hyper and bouncy to focus long enough on his own issues, let alone everyone else's. He would feel far too awkward asking Kyo what he should do in this case, for if he tried to dance around the subject of discovering Shinya's sexuality for his own purposes, not only would Kyo immediately accuse of him trying to hide his intention but also poke fun at his question. May if he could ask Kaoru what he would do in such a situation, only reword it so it would match an average situation instead of his own? That would prove easier and because of Kaoru's being kept in the dark about his secret, he would not have to worry about any suspicion.

He sighed and pushed away the paper that was line with brand new notes he needed to memorize. Kaoru would most likely be in his recording booth, trying to figure out what chords sound best. Die glanced down at Shinya as he passed him, trying to catch a glimpse of his delicate face, but unable to see past his hair. Again he sighed with discontent and continued on past the hauntingly stunning man to find Kaoru.

Die spotted Kaoru through the large, flawless window and knocked on the glass to get Kaoru's attention. The guitarist jumped a little and set down his guitar in his lap, removing the cigarette that had been dangling from the corner of his mouth, and adjusted his glasses. He waved his hand and motioned for Die to enter.

Before he even had a chance to completely enter the room, "Why aren't you working?" Kaoru asked in a sharp tone.

He let out a long sigh and gave Kaoru an annoyed look. Sometimes the guitarist was entirely and completely insensitive to their issues and their attitudes. When he was in the mood for working, Kaoru would not let any of them slack off (unless it was Toshiya, of course; trying to get him to focus at times was like pulling teeth). "I need help," Die said, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it in a subconscious effort to keep people out of the room.

"About?" Kaoru inquired half-heartedly as though he really didn't care about Die's ailments.

"There is someone…I fancy…so to speak. I need help figuring out if they like me the same way," Die said, shoving his hands in his pockets nervously. Kaoru took off his glasses and looked as though he were scrutinizing his appearance. His heartbeat quickened. He hoped to God Kaoru would not notice his visible twitching and shaking. The mere thought of Kaoru finding out his secret was more than he ever wanted to deal with.

"I have no idea. Not meaning to sound cruel or anything, but you should ask Kyo. He usually gives out some rather good advice," Kaoru said, picking up his guitar again.  
Die gave Kaoru a startled look. "Kyo? I mean…have you heard his advice, first hand?" Kyo did not seem like the advise giving type, it seemed to him that Kyo would rather jump off a cliff than talk about personal issues, his own or other people's.

"Yeah, he's helped me out before. Now if you're going to waste your time, go bother Kyo. I assume the quicker you solve this problem the more you'll start working again. I'm starting to worry about you, you know. You haven't been working as much as you usually do and if this issue is distracting you from work you should get it resolved," Kaoru said, placing his cigarette back in his mouth. Die nodded a little and turned to the door. "And Die…get better, okay? I don't like seeing you so miserable."

Again Die nodded and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He shook his hands, trying to calm himself before he even think about going to ask Kyo for help. He knew that Kyo would tease him about the issue and never let him live it down, unfortunately. Yet Kaoru was noticing his lack in work and enthusiasm, and if his behavior continued he would no doubt be interrogated about it to improve his 'work ethic'. He really had no choice.

Reluctantly, forcing one foot in front of the other, he walked down the hallway to find Kyo. What would he say? That he needed help finding out if Shinya was gay? Sure Kyo knew about him, but he be that forthright about the situation? He never really did find out what Kyo thought of the matter, if he was against homosexuality or if he had a problem with it. All he knew was that Kyo had kept his outburst a secret.

He walked over to the shut door and stood in front of it for a long time, bowing his head and trying to think of any other way he might be able to escape asking Kyo for help. He saw no other option and turned the knob on the door, walking in quickly and shutting the door behind him. At first the sheer darkness of the room was shocking, except for a single red glow that was emitting from the lit end of Kyo's cigarette. "Welcome, Neo. Welcome to the matrix," Kyo said in a low voice.

"Quit fucking around," Die groped at the wall for a while before he found the light switch. He squinted his eyes a bit as the light invaded his dilated pupils and sighed, seeing Kyo sitting on the couch in but a pair of blue jeans with his legs spread and his arms rest along the back ridge of the couch. He looked similar to a wanna-be gangster at that moment before a sat up straight and began laughing.

"What are you bugging me for? If Kaoru finds out I've been jacking off in this room the whole time he is gonna blow his fucking lid," Kyo laughed.

Die scrunched up his face. "I didn't need to know that you've been masturbating on the couch we all like to sit on," he said in a disgusted tone. He did not understand how Kyo could so easily share what he did in private when Die could barely even imagine telling anyone aside from Kyo. "Besides, quit messing around, I need to ask you something."  
"I take it you talked to boss-man, then?"

"Boss-man? Kaoru? Yeah," Die stared at Kyo oddly. "How did you know?"

"Let's just say Kaoru had some…problems," Kyo grinned. "Never mind, what do you need?"

"Well…I need some help," Die said in a nervous tone. Despite the reality that Kyo knew of his desire for Shinya, he highly disliked talking about it, as thought the more he spoke of it the greater chance he risked of exposing the truth to others. "It's sort of been bugging me and I just need—"

"Is this about Shinya?" Kyo asked bluntly, tapping his cigarette so the fading embers and ash fell onto the couch.

"Erm…yes, I need help," Die said in a solemn tone and moved over to the couch, staring at the couch before he sat down, wondering if Kyo would make a mess would he have cleaned it up or found some sort of sick humor in watching someone sit down in his come. Reluctantly, he sat down on the cushion furthest away from the little singer and leaned against the armrest. "I want to go on a date with him."

"Do you even know if he is gay?" Kyo asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No…" Die sighed heavily.

"I think he is," Kyo said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "I mean, have you taken a look at him? He is prettier than any man should be and he is so 'delicate'. I mean, he goes for facials and everything! No straight man would do that. Unless he was metro."

"Kyo, that isn't good enough. I really need to know, because if your lack of judgment make me say something in front of him I shouldn't say, then I'm screwed," he said. He could just imagine embarrassing himself in front of Shinya by asking him out on a date and being forced to realize the harsh truth about Shinya's sexuality. That was not something he wanted to think about.

"So basically you need help figuring out whether or not Shinya is gay," Kyo said, putting out his cigarette on one of the cushions. "I think I can help you with that. One word—Experiment."

"Experiment?" Die asked, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow. Often Kyo was not one for crazy ideas (they usually left that to Toshiya), but Kaoru had said that Kyo was a good with this kind of stuff, so he figured he should trust him…right?

"Yeah, to figure out if he's gay," Kyo said and hopped up so his was on the balls of his feet in the center of the couch cushion, facing Die. "All we need to test this is a thong and a secluded room with Shinya in it."

"Wait, why do you need a thong? What are you planning?" Die asked. It seemed as though he suddenly switched brains with Toshiya.

"You'll see, now lets go," Kyo stood up and motioned for Die to follow him. "Come on, I think you've been sitting in come this whole time." He laughed.

Die jumped up, looking back at the cushion, sighing with relief when he realized Kyo was just messing around with him. "You asshole," he mumbled, following Kyo out of the room. He hoped to God that Kyo was not going to do anything too obvious.

-----

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Die said, staring at Kyo in utter shock. There stood the little man, leaning against the shut door where just beyond it sat Shinya eating lunch. He wore nothing but a bright red thong, smoking a cigarette and looking completely relaxed. "You are not going to do anything but make him vomit!"

"Hey, you think I like wearing sling-shots? I'm doing this for you, so shut up," Kyo said and put out his cigarette on the wall.

"Quit doing that! Kaoru's gonna get pissed off if he sees anymore cigarette burns in the walls," Die said sharply. "How are we supposed to tell if he's gay from your ridiculous attire?"

"Well, if he stares at my ass for longer than three minutes he's gay. If he looks at my cock for more than a minute, he's gay. Now, if he pulls out a shit load of yen and puts it in my thong, he's ultra superhero mega gay and you've lucked out," Kyo laughed.

Die shook his head. He knew this was a bad idea, but he could not tell Kyo to stop now after he had gone through to acquire a thong and force himself into. That brought up the question as to where on Earth Kyo would have gotten a thong or had he owned it? He shuddered at the mere though of Kyo wearing a thong on daily, though it would explain how he could wear his pants so low and his underwear never showed. "Let's get this over with," he sighed. He could just picture Shinya's shocked face the moment Kyo entered the room flaunting the garment.

Kyo shrugged and opened the door, leaving it open so Die could watch what was about to happen. He saw Shinya sitting on a couch, a bento box in his lap and his chopsticks grazing the top of the rice and pulling up a small clump of it to his mouth. Die placed his hand over his mouth he watched Kyo walk in the room, finding it hard to keep from bursting out laughing at his larger than normal backside in a thong. He walked directly in front of Shinya nonchalantly as though he had done it a million times.

Shinya looked up to great Kyo, but before he could he swallow his rice his jaw dropped and rice spilled out from his lower lip. His eyes were wide and he was unmoving. He opened his mouth over and over again, trying to find something to say but seeming far too shocked to even think. "K-Kyo!" he finally shouted.

"What?" Kyo turned to face him, placing his hands on his hips as a woman would and sifting his weight so one bony hip would jut out more than the other and leave a small area of air between his thong and his flesh.

"What…what are you doing?" his voice cracked as he spoke the words.

"Walking," Kyo said casually.

"Well…walk somewhere else! I don't want to see…that!" Shinya said in a disgusted tone, "I'm trying to eat."

Kyo rolled his eyes and grabbed the front of his thong, squeezing it in plain view. "You're just jealous because I'm bigger than you," he said.

"Do that elsewhere!" Shinya said, giving Kyo a disturbed look. "You're going to make me lose my lunch if you keep doing that."

Kyo walked off the other way, out of the way Die's view. He watched Shinya readjust himself on the couch and straighten out the bento box in his lap. He withdrew a napkin from his pocket and began trying to pick up the spilled rice from when Kyo had initially entered the room. If he had not been so entranced in Shinya's delicate beauty, he might have wondered where Kyo had wandered off to, but getting this moment to gape at his object of desire was a moment he did not want to pass up.

Suddenly, as if ruining the mood, Kyo walked back into his view, only this time he was completely nude and holding his thong at arm's length. Shinya turned to him and then suddenly looked away. "KYO!" he shouted, keeping one arm over his face. "Put your clothes back on!"

Kyo released the bright red thong and let it fall to the floor and laughed. "Oops, I dropped my thong," he said in a school-girl-like voice. Die could not believe what he saw next from the audacious little singer. He waited till Shinya had uncovered his eyes, thinking it safe, and then bent over to pick up the garment with his backside in plain view.

"Get out Kyo!" Shinya shouted. He reached out with one long leg, planting his foot firmly on Kyo's ass, and kicked forward, sending the little singer to the ground. Laughing, Kyo grabbed the thong and scrambled to his feet, rushing out of the room and slamming the hallway door behind him.

Finally removed his hand from his mouth and stared at Kyo in utter shock, unable to believe what he had done. "Are you completely insane?" Die asked incredulously.  
"Perhaps, but it was funny as hell," Kyo laughed, holding his hand over his privates to block them from view and holding in his hand the red thong. "I suppose this experiment didn't work as well as I thought it would."

"Of course it didn't!" Die shook his head. "That image is going to be burned in my retinas until the day I die and on my death bed the only thing I'll see is your ass in that thong." Die shuddered.

"You'll like it. You're gonna die with a boner, I guess," Kyo chuckled. He did not seem the least bit embarrassed about what he had done nor did he seem bothered by the fact his 'experiment' had failed as it had. Kyo turned around as asked, "Do I have a shoe-print on my ass?"

Die glanced down for a moment and started laughing. He could make out clearly the small grooves on the bottom of Shinya's shoe on Kyo's backside. "Yup," he laughed and shoved Kyo. "Now put your clothes on before someone sees you."

"Maybe I wanna be a nudist," Kyo said, turning back around.

"Just put your pants on," Die said. "That was a wonderful joke and all, but I don't think it really helped with Shinya's sexuality. He just seemed disturbed by all of it."

"You have a point," Kyo said, biting his lower lip. "Maybe we should do another experiment. We just need someone else to help us."

Before Die could protest, Kyo tossed the red thong onto his head, grinned, and rushed back to the room he had been in previously to get some clothing. "Sick!" Die exclaimed, removing the thong from his head and tossing it to the ground. From within the room, Kyo shouted, "Keep that thong on your head! It matches your hair!"

Die shook his head. Perhaps asking Kyo to help him was a bad idea. But there was no turning back now.

-----

"Toshiya! Get your ass over here!" Kyo shouted down the hall at the bassist, now fully clothed with his hair tied back.

"Kyo, don't—" Die pleaded, trying to grab him and cover his mouth in a last act of desperation. Kyo's idea was to get Toshiya to help them with their experiment, but Die did not want Toshiya knowing! Often Toshiya and Shinya went out shopping together and Toshiya was not exactly discreet about secrets amongst each other.

"Don't worry," Kyo said as Toshiya bound down the hall, flipping his hair out of his face as he slowed and approached them with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "Wanna help us?"

"Sure, what do you need?" Toshiya said, rubbing his hands together as though he were ready for anything. Die just stared at him, trying to figure out what he would do when he heard that he was gay. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, hidden in his jean pocket. He was half ready to go bury his head in the sand so he would not have to face Toshiya's reaction, but if he saw Toshiya's reaction it might give him some insight into how Shinya might react. He was torn between the two options, though he knew the latter was more practical than finding a hole of sand to bury his head in.

"We need help figuring out if Shinya is gay," Kyo said, reaching up and snatching the cigarette out of his mouth and taking a long drag from it before handing it back to Toshiya.

"Oh, that's it? He's so gay," Toshiya laughed. "No man gets as fussy as he gets over his dog."

"Well, that isn't enough for the fucktard behind me, so we gotta do some experiments on Shinya to find out," Kyo sighed, elbowing Die in the ribs.

"Hey, cut it out. You're really weird today," Die said, rubbing his ribs. He glanced at Toshiya, who was merely grinning at him. He took a moment to stare at the crooked teeth that crowded Toshiya's mouth. He looked absolutely ridiculous. "What?"

"Why you so curious about Shinya's sexuality? And why are you so quiet today? I haven't heard you tease him all day long," Toshiya grinned.

"Gee, you are slow. Can't you tell Die has the hots for Shinya?" Kyo laughed.

Die's face turned bright red the moment those words emitted from Kyo's mouth and he bowed his head. It was not as bad as he thought it would have been, but the words still burned his ears. To hear Kyo so loosely speak about his secret, it was so strange. "Ha, I knew it!" Toshiya rubbed Die's head. "Welcome to the gay club!"

He looked up and gave Toshiya a strange look. "What?" he asked in alarm. What was the bassist trying to say?

"As if you didn't know," Kyo laughed, leaning against Toshiya. "Now shut the fuck up, we got work to do."

"But…but…" Die stuttered, trying to speak but unable to speak from the utter shock of it. Kyo…and Toshiya…were gay? He suddenly felt faint, as though he were now overreacting over something so trivial. If both Kyo and Toshiya were gay, that in a manner gave him a chance of being with Shinya. It would show him that Toshiya and Kyo were together and it would be acceptable. He finally gave up trying to speak and sighed with self-defeat. "What is the plan, this time?"

"Oh, leave it all to me," Toshiya grinned.

-----

"No, no, no!" Die whined, staring at the two conniving idiots standing before him.

"This'll never work and he'll definitely vomit this time! Kyo's ass in his face was already enough visual abuse for both of us today."

"Are you calling my ass ugly?" Kyo asked in fake offense, placing his hand on his chest like a woman would have done.

"Hey, I like his ass, no insulting it," Toshiya wrapped his arm around Kyo's shoulders.  
"I like your ass more," Kyo giggled, leaning up and kissing Toshiya.

"Really? Well, I like your cock more than you like my ass," Toshiya replied. "No wait, you know what I like more? When your cock is in—"

"Guys!" Die said loudly, his face beginning to turn red from their inappropriate talking. He never thought that he would ever hear Toshiya talking to Kyo about sex, nor did he ever think that they were gay, but these two were surprising him more and more today. It was as though his desire to find out Shinya's sexuality had gotten completely out of hand.

"You can't make Shinya watch…that. I don't even want to know where you got that kind of stuff."

"Oh, there's this really nice porn shop down on—" Toshiya began.

"I don't want to know!" Die rubbed his temples. "Just…how does this work?"

"Well, Toshiya pops in this wonderfully delightful porn in the DVD player and if Shinya watches it for more than thirty seconds he's gay," Kyo giggled.

"And if he watches it for more than a minute he is Godzilla-sized gay," Toshiya laughed, once again showing off his crowded teeth and his face resembling that of a retarded donkey.

"This will never work," Die groaned. "This will fail as miserably as Kyo's thong stunt did!"

"Just you watch me," Toshiya winked and walked into the room where Shinya was still working on finishing his lunch. He was tossing the DVD disc back and forth as he walked over to the T.V. (which Shinya had probably turned on in a futile attempt to forget the image of Kyo's bare bottum). "Hey, Shin, mind if I watch something really quick."

"No problem," Shinya said, shrugging his shoulders and continuing to eat his white rice. Die turned his attention to Shinya and bit his lower lip, wondering what he would think when Toshiya turned on the video. He wished he knew more about how Shinya reacted to things he had never heard or seen before, it would aid him so much.

Die's attention snapped back to the television the minute he heard the half-assed typical music of a pornographic movie and felt himself filled with embarrassment for even looking at the screen. He took a second glance at the screen and shook his head at the two male porn stars having sex; he never really did like porn. He looked back at Shinya, who had finally looked up to discover what the grunts and moans were.

His dark eyes were wide, his mouth agape and staring at the screen. His face was of unreserved shock and disgust. Without a word, he stood up, his bento box falling to the floor and flipping over, and walked towards the door. He took a second look back as thought to confirm his reason for making a mess, shuddered, and walked out of the room similar to that of a zombie. Shinya did not even seem to notice Die nor Kyo crouching at the door as he walked down the hall.

Toshiya then appeared in the doorway and frowned. "I don't suppose that worked as we had planned it, now did it?" he asked in a somewhat concerned voice.

"Nope, but it was an interesting reaction," Kyo stood up and bit his lower lip. "I suppose we need a new experiment, correct?"

"I don't think more experiments will be good for Shinya's retinas nor his mental health," Die said in a hesitant tone. It seemed with this second 'experiment', Shinya could not even think of a thing to say or do aside from get out of the room as fast as possible. This past test of Shinya's sexuality was also more disturbing, and he could only logically think that if they thought of another test it would be more disturbing and graphic than the last two.

"Hush you, we will find out Shin-chan's sexuality, we just need Kaoru's help!" Toshiya declared so loudly Die was convinced everyone in a six-mile radius could hear him.

'Not Kaoru,' Die thought to himself. He did not think he could tolerate hearing the words 'Die has the hots of Shinya' again. He had a feeling this next experiment was not going to work well.

-----

"Why do you guys need me start hitting on Shinya?" Kaoru asked, standing up from his stool and setting down his guitar. He placed his glasses in his pockets and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. He raised an eyebrow and gave Kyo a serious look.

"Because we need to find out if he's gay," Toshiya said with a grin.

"If you two wanna have a threesome or something with him, it wouldn't happen even if he was gay," Kaoru shook his head. "Sometimes I swear you two are constantly looking for something new to do in bed."

"Wait! You knew these two were seeing each other?" Die asked. It seemed as though everyone was keeping a secret from him and today was the day in which he was meant to learn about them. As was today the day of bad experiences. He could hardly believe what Toshiya and Kyo had done and yet here he was, still with the two as they tried to convince Kaoru to seduce Shinya.

"Yeah—" Kaoru jumped suddenly and shoved his hand in his pocket, withdrawing a vibrating cell phone. He held up a finger, signaling that he needed them to be quiet. "Hello? Oh hey, hun. What's up?" He shoved one hand in his pocket and shifted his weight from foot to foot as he listened. "Tonight? At seven I suppose. That sounds perfect. Alright. Love you. Bye."

Die wondered whom Kaoru was talking to as he shoved the cell phone back in his pocket. He was not aware that Kaoru had a girlfriend and he wondered why he would not have told them. Before he could ask, Kyo started laughing. "'Oh Yoshiki-sama I loves you so much, fuck me tonight at seven baby'," Kyo said in a lower tone, pouting his lips at Kaoru.

"Shut up," Kaoru rolled his eyes.

Toshiya scooped Kyo up in his arms and kissed him. " 'Of course, Kaoru, anything for my anal-retentive lover. Let's fuck right now!'" Toshiya said, changing his voice in his attempt to sound like Yoshiki.

"I said shut up," Kaoru growled, giving the two an evil look.

"Relax, boss-man, we're messing around," Kyo said as Toshiya set him down.

"I'm just really confused," Die said in an annoyed tone. There was no possible way that Kaoru could be dating Yoshiki, there was no way on Earth. He had always feared Kaoru finding out he was gay. To him, Kaoru seemed so old fashion and conservative he could not even speak of homosexuals or other arguable issues that were common around the world. Apparently he had been wrong.

"About what? Boss-man fucking Yoshiki?" Kyo asked, shrugging. "That was what I had helped Kaoru with, getting in Yoshiki's pants."

"K-Kyo! Don't talk like that—" Kaoru stuttered, his eyes as wide as saucers.  
"Relax, Die is gay too, he could care less," Toshiya laughed, slapping Die on back as though it were something extremely common.

Kaoru relaxed and sighed, pushing back his bangs again. "You scared me for a minute, I thought Die was going to figure out," he said in a gradually calming voice. "Shouldn't you all be working?"

"We are working, working on finding out if Shinya's gay," Kyo said. "Die here wants to go on a date with Shinya, but we need to find out if he is gay first."

Kaoru rolled his eyes. "It's be pretty amusing if he was the only straight one amongst us. So, Die, how long?" he asked.

"How long what?" Die asked, still trying to get over the fact that Kaoru was gay…with Yoshiki. He had to refrain from shuddering from the mere though, not only had Yoshiki managed them, but he was a good ten years older than Yoshiki.

"Have you liked drummer fag?" Kyo finished the question.

"I-I'd rather not—"

"Don't get modest on me now."

"Well…" Die blushed profusely. He did not understand these three at all. How were they so open about how they felt? "Three years."

"Oh damn, that must be a bitch," Toshiya said. "So how about it, Kao-kun? I mean, for Die?"

Kaoru gave the three of them an exasperated look. "Guys, I wouldn't feel right trying to hit on Shinya, even for pretend. I have a date tonight with Yoshiki," he shook his head.

"I think he's right, I wouldn't feel right making him hit on Shinya," Die said, realizing that amongst them, Kaoru was the only one with any logic. He could somewhat appreciate the effort than Toshiya and Kyo were putting forth to help him, but he could not help but feel as though all of these experiments were not helping him in the least bit.

"Come on, Kaoru, Die should have a chance to get some ass, lets help him out," Kyo said.

"I helped you with your 'is Yoshiki gay' issue, and the time you couldn't get it up, and don't forget the house call I had to make when Yoshiki got it stuck in you."

"Okay, okay," Kaoru said sharply, glaring at Kyo. "I'd rather not you tell everyone about my personal issues."

"Whatever, just do what you would do if you were really desperate to fuck, okay?" Kyo explained.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Kaoru shook his head in disbelief.

-----

"Maybe I should just talk to Shinya myself," Die said with a nervous tone to his voice. Once again, he felt as though this experiment would only creep Shinya out or leave his mindset horribly disfigured after having seen and heard what he had. After dealing with the unorthodox ways of Toshiya and Kyo's experiments, he felt almost ready just to tell Shinya how he felt and deal with the truth; the suspense of not being able to tell his sexuality was almost painful and even if Shinya was straight he knew a great burden would be lifted from his shoulders in the moment he would do so.

"No, let me handle this, this might work in some sort of sick and twisted way," Kaoru took in deep breath, held it for a minute and then let out the breath slowly. He looked like he was getting ready for a race instead of pretending to hit on Shinya. Die wondered if Kaoru was really that bothered by it and just was not showing it.

Die peeked in the room where Shinya was sitting, seeing him leaning against the armrest of a couch, holding a thick paperback book. His face seemed blank as he read the book, his beautiful dark eyes moving back and forth amongst the characters on the paper. He did not seem as though he had been previously visually perturbed by the actions of Kyo and Toshiya.

Toshiya and Kyo peeked in the room eagerly as Kaoru walked in slowly, his shoulders back and a relaxed look on his face. Shinya looked up from his book and smiled, "Hey, Kaoru. Good to see you of that recording booth."

"Yeah, let's just say I have something important on my mind," Kaoru said in a soft voice that was strong yet delicate. Toshiya and Kyo exchanged glances, both highly amused and surprised by the display. "So, Shin…do you have any plans tonight?" He hand went up and was playing with the thin collar of Shinya's shirt.

Shinya uncomfortably and gave Kaoru a strange look, though made no move to avoid the unwanted contact. Kyo grinned at Die, taking that as a good sign. Die was unsure of what that meant. "Not really, were you thinking of taking us out for drinks?" Shinya asked.

"Well, I wanted to take you out for dinner tonight," Kaoru said, moving his hand up so he was stroking Shinya's hair, touching the tips of his hair so the tips of his fingers would lightly trace over the skin of his neck. Shinya shifted his shoulders so one shoulder would knock against Kaoru's hand in an attempt to make him remove his hand. To his dismay, it did not work as he had thought as it would.

"Oh, where? And why the occasion?" Shinya inquired, looking as though he were trying to remain calm, but struggling with it.

"Well, you've been such a good…drummer, having gotten so…strong," Kaoru's hand slowly slid his hand down and squeezed Shinya bicep. Die watched Shinya's eyes widen and it appeared as though his entire body had tensed. He looked so impossibly uncomfortable, being so close to Kaoru. "I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner, head back to my place for some coffee…and you know, work out some of the 'kinks' in that new song."

"I…uh…" Shinya's face turned red, looking completely flustered and unsure what to say.  
"Damn, he's making me hot," Kyo said, tugging at his collar. "Who knew boss-man was good with words?"

"What about me?" Toshiya pouted, wrapping his arms tightly around Kyo and nibbling on his ear.

Die turned his eyes away from the two lovers and focused back on Shinya. Shinya bit his lower lip and opened his mouth, withdrawing as though he had suddenly thought of something different to say. "Hey, that sounds nice…but I…erm…I have to think about it…I'm gonna…I have something to do right now," Shinya said, standing up and straightening out his shirt and running his fingers through his hair.

"A-are you sure?" Kaoru suddenly seemed to have lost his edge and have given up.  
"Yeah," Shinya said, walking towards the door and then stopping when he saw Die on one side of the door and Toshiya on top of Kyo on the other, kissing. Die stood up, smoothing his shirt and trying to think of something to say to make it look as though he were not just watching another failed experiment. "Die…what…"

"Shinya, I can explain this," Die began, still trying to think of something to do. Maybe he could just come out with the truth right now. Tell Shinya everything that had happened and why it had happened, why he had to stare at Kyo's ass or why Kaoru had just unsuccessfully asked him out.

"Die, I'd love to talk, but right now things have been completely insane today and I don't feel like talking to you," Shinya said in a frustrated tone. It surprised Die, he had not thought that Shinya was so fed up with all that had happened.

At that moment he made his decision. He had to tell him. No more experiments, he did not want to make Shinya any more upset that he already was and he did not want to live with the uncertainty of never knowing how Shinya felt about him. Just thinking that there was the possibility he could be turned down upset him. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus, and when he opened them he directed all of his attention onto the beautiful drummer. He paid no attention to Toshiya and Kyo, who were making out in the doorway, nor did he pay attention to Kaoru who was staring at him from the couch.

"Shinya, just wait. This is important." Die said, grabbing his hand. His heart was beating a million miles a minute and felt like it was gaining speed. The Shinya silence only made it worse and he felt as though Shinya could hear his frantic heart. He could not believe what he was about to do. Had these experiments made him that desperate, seeing every single one fail had made him so anxious he was ready to tell Shinya himself? It seemed so unreal. "All day you've had to deal with things that seemed really abnormal and even disturbing, right?"

"Yes, how did you know?" Shinya asked, not at all seeming uncomfortable with the fact that Die was holding his hand. If anything, he appeared content.

"It was my fault, everything was my fault. Kyo being naked, Toshiya horrible porn, and Kaoru. This was all my fault because we were experimenting on you," Die said, his face turning so red it matched his hair. He bowed his head and stared at his and Shinya's hands.

"What? All that…why?"

"Because…because I wanted to find out if you were gay," Die said, letting out a sigh. Only as he said it did he realize how blunt and rude it sounded.

Shinya face twisted into a look from confusion to a look of discomfort and shock."Why…why would you ask that?" Shinya asked in a high-pitched voice. "How dare you ask that!"

"Shinya, I just need to know," Die said in a desperate tone, holding his hand tighter as he tried to pull it away. "Please…" He could not believe how desperate he sounded, how needy he probably appeared.

"Why? Why do you need to know?" Shinya, trying to pull away. "Are you?"

Die pulled Shinya closer to him and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him and bowing his head into Shinya's shoulder. He took in a deep breath and worked up the only bit of scarce courage in his body. "I only am if you are," he whispered in Shinya's ear so no one else could. "Please…tell me…"

He pulled away a little, frightened of what his expression would hold. Did he hate him or love him? Shinya lowered his eyes really quick, as though he were glancing down, then quickly looked back up, his cheeks flushed and he bit his lip. "Die…I'm not gay…" he said in a soft voice.

Die's heart suddenly sank all the way into the pit of his stomach as Shinya spoke those unwanted words. He felt like his soul was being ripped in two and his face brightened, having realized he just told Shinya what he had been forced to live with for so many excruciating years. He looked at Shinya, feeling on the verge of tears. Before he could say anything, Shinya leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.

He just stood there, not knowing what to do. When he finally came upon the realization Shinya was kissing him, the drummer sent him back into shock when he opened his mouth, as if beckoning Die's tongue to enter it. He could not believe what Shinya was doing. Did he not just say--? That suddenly did not matter, not after he was getting his chance to kiss this beauty he had yearned after for so long.

"Looks pretty gay to me," Die heard Kyo gasp. In the back of his mind he wondered if those two were still kissing on the ground, but he did not have the capability to worry about that at the present moment. He still could not take in the fact that Shinya and he were kissing so passionately, especially after he had just said he was not gay.

Finally, they broke away from the kiss and Die was staring at Shinya. "Didn't you—"  
"I'm bi," Shinya said with a small smirk, his cheeks still red. "And incase your wondering…I like you too. That is what you wanted to tell me…right?"

"Y-yes…God…this can't be real," Die said aloud, blushing when Shinya's smile widened. He wanted to step away, to reevaluate what had just happened, but when he tried Shinya's arms immediately went around him and held him firm. Shinya suddenly looked extremely embarrassed and his eyes were wide. "What?"

"When you whispered…you blew on my ear," he said in a sharp whispered, motioning down with his eyes.

Die glanced down and saw that a bulge had from in the crotch of Shinya's abnormally tight jeans and if he moved away the area would be exposed to Kaoru, Kyo and Toshiya. Which also meant being exposed to Kyo and Toshiya's cruel ridicule. "Erm…think about…me?" Die said awkwardly.

"That wouldn't help at all," Shinya managed a grin, pulling Die closer. Die felt t the bulge brush against the front of his jeans and he bit his lip to keep from crying out in surprise and to force away the sudden hotness that was spreading through his body in order to keep from getting an erection like Shinya.

"Think about that porn that Toshiya showed you," Die grinned.

"That doesn't help either. That is my favorite porn," Shinya whispered.

"Are you serious? You watch porn?" Die laughed loudly, no doubt catching the attention of the other three in the room.

"Hey…so are you two together now or dating or gonna fuck?" Kyo asked, sounding muffled as though he was beneath Toshiya.

"Yeah, I think we are together," Shinya said, then leaned forward and whispered in Die's ear, "Just so you know, I like being on top."

Die's eyes widened and he blushed profusely. He never thought, in his thirty-one years of life, that he would hear Shinya say he watched porn or like being on top. It was just something that seemed so…out of character for him to say, yet he supposed the Shinya he had known so long was only the part of Shinya that he knew, the part he felt he could never be with. Yet there Shinya was, doing everything Die never thought he would.  
For once in his life, Die felt sure of himself, content with what had happened. He had such an overwhelmingly good feeling to all of this.

"So…now that we've established we all like ass-fucking…" Kyo began.

"Let's have an orgy!" Toshiya exclaimed.

"I have to see Yoshiki tonight. No," Kaoru said flatly.

"I don't want to have one either," Die said, his arms still around Shinya. He smirked at him and leaned over. "The only one I want is you."

"How about we go do an experiment to 'get rid' of my…problem," Shinya motioned down again with his eyes at the bulge in his pants.

"That sounds like the best experiment yet," Die grinned, once again kissing Shinya softly on the lips. Shinya was his, finally his.


End file.
